I had lots of miles to drive before arriving on the east coast of Australia. I received a message from Josh, who I had met in Whistler nine months earlier, and who I was supposed to see in Cairns. I also received a message from Chris, who ghosted me twice. Why does dating have to be so hard?
Endings are so tough because they make me reflect on the good times and the connections that I made. But then the sense of loss creeps in. I couldn’t take the constant “goodbyes” and losing people. It had been over a year of meeting people, building a relationship, and then suddenly saying goodbye. It was becoming too much for me.
Sometimes solo travel feels incredibly lonely. I had been out of my home country for 5 months (the longest ever) and I was missing family, friends, and familiarity. I never thought I’d miss routine, but in that moment, I wanted something stable. I didn’t want to keep making major decision every single day.
Sometimes it’s forced at first, but in order to live and find happiness again, you have to live. You may not feel like it. You may want to wallow in your emotions. But you have to keep going. You have to pick yourself up and force yourself to be part of this world. Eventually, it won’t be a chore.
Sometimes the feeling of boredom is so powerful, I feel like I’ll lose my mind. If my mind is not stimulated in some way, it feels like torture.