Endings are so tough because they make me reflect on the good times and the connections that I made. But then the sense of loss creeps in. I couldn’t take the constant “goodbyes” and losing people. It had been over a year of meeting people, building a relationship, and then suddenly saying goodbye. It was becoming too much for me.
Sometimes the feeling of boredom is so powerful, I feel like I’ll lose my mind. If my mind is not stimulated in some way, it feels like torture.
I was feeling incredibly lonely. Not just lonely, but completely alone. It’s the feeling that I am not “number one” to anybody. I tried to talk with my parents about it, but they didn’t seem to get it.